Neurology Update

For those of you who have been following Jillian's progress, an update: Mark and I could have done a happy dance in the Neurologists office today if it were big enough, that is. No meds and no shunt!!! He will continue to see her every 3 months to monitor her plan of treatment and chart her progress and then will reevaluate the cyst in 3 years - yes, YEARS! to determine any change. So, a big shout out to everyone who spent a little extra time kneeling, our prayers have truly been answered. In the words of her neurologist today "some things are meant to be." Thanks for being such a man of faith, Dr V.

World Series Champions, Maybe Next Year

Well, Brendans team's run for the Little League Championship has come to an end, and I was at a motherhood crossroad. You know, the pivotal intersection of decision. On one hand I can act like a sore loser and rant about the politics of little league baseball, on the other I can choose to advocate for my son, his team and stand up for what is just and fair. Or, as I have chosen, neither because sometimes things happen, and no matter how loudly you scream, it will be as it is - as it was.

Rewind -- Since the Midwest has been pummeled with torrential downpours on a daily basis this last week, all the teams knew that our schedules had to be flexible, that rain would fall, fields would be wet, and that games would be postponed. Our first playoff game was scheduled for Saturday. We are up 6-0, bottom of the 3rd. The winds pick up, a few drops begin to fall, then each drop within every cloud above simultaneously falls to the ground. In the confusion, the opposing team scores 4 runs. The field is too wet to continue any time today, so we are postponed until Sunday. The boys assume they will continue where they left off and are disappointed Sunday to learn that the game has to begin again. Melancholy and sadness consume all efforts to play and 7 runs are scored by the opposing team the first inning. A big pep talk by the coach and finally some finesse is seen by the 3rd inning. And the drops. start. to. fall. First 1, then 2, then a repeat of the previous game's rain out. Only this time the game is called, not postponed, not rescheduled. Called! I will spare this post from the diatribe that is running through my thoughts and will not place judgement on the events being linked to the commissioner being the coach of the other team or the ump his nephew. I will only continue to exclaim to Brendan that "you win some, you lose some, but the important thing is you keep playing like you will win them all."

So we went home, threw our clothes in on the spin cycle, and went for pizza. Later, we topped the night off with our own backyard baseball game, in which Jillian sent a ball into the neighbors yard, Brendan lost two balls to the sewer, Mark let the kids win, and I made a stealthy slide into second. Mark thought I fell, and came swooping in to save me. Teach him to doubt my athleticism, though the "damsel in distress" wasn't so far fetched either.

I read a great little article recently that has been on my mind ever since. It was written by a lady who was born and raised in Las Vegas. She lived in the desert her whole life. She was born there, married there, raised her family there. She loved the sun and the heat. The coldest place she had ever been was Utah, but then she and her husband were asked to serve a mission for their (and my) church in the Baltic States. Latvia. One of the coldest places in the world.

Of course, it was ironic. And she expected to be miserable in the winter conditions. But she found that when she went to Latvia, the harsh climate didn't bother her. To her, blizzard after blizzard were all part of the experience. And the reason was - she knew it was temporary. Before long, she'd be back in the desert. But the weather was part of the experience. She said she would have been disappointed if she'd gone to Latvia and they'd had a heat wave - she would have missed out on that part of the experience.

And she compared that to our life experiences. Anyone who believes in life after death knows that this life is temporary. We came here to have experiences, and yes, some of them harsh. But we were prepared before we came to have these experiences - and wouldn't we be disappointed to finish this life and not have experienced every part of what we came to experience?

I have friends, and family even, who are going through tough experiences on every end of the spectrum. Addiction, depression, infertility, divorce, death of family members...really challenging things. And I do not wish these trials on anyone, nor do I claim to understand, but we are made to face challenges. That's why we are here. And, though disappointment and overwhelm and sorrow and pain are all part of the experience, the reason we can get through difficult times is because we know each challenge is temporary.

I was getting after myself last week for feeling overwhelmed and stressed out as Mark was nearing the end of a 13 day work stretch. Family drama was brewing, the house was a mess (by my standards), the kids were in rare form, and I needed a break. This article popped into my head, and I began to misuse its message by trying to stop myself from feeling all these emotions that were piling up on me. "Jennifer, it's all part of the experience! Quit being overwhelmed and stressed. Life Happens!" But then I realized that isn't the point of the article after all. The point is, that it is okay to feel however I feel. If I am stressed out, then so be it. If I am overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed. If I am just completely sad, that is okay too. I want to be able to feel however I need to feel, and not feel bad about feeling that way. Because feeling how you feel is also part of the experience. And working through it is the lesson of the experience. And looking back later and seeing that those feelings were only temporary is the reward of the experience.

So I'm grateful for the reminder that this life is a journey. Ups and downs and all that. But it is all for our own good - our learning and growing. And thankfully, it's temporary. So - I will try to embrace the experience - tough or easy, happy or sad. And, more importantly, I want to really enjoy the experience. Because I don't want to miss out on anything that I was sent here to experience.

The Apple Fell and It Is Near.

I am not sure if geneticist have isolated a tantrum gene, but I am positive one exists. I should preface this story with the little known fact that during my childhood I, yes me, was a professional fit thrower - a tantrum connoisseur, if you will (some may argue that I still manage to pull one out for old times sake at least once or twice a month, however, I stand in dispute of that argument.) I remember clearly the first time Jillian dramatically tossed her stiffened torso and flailing limbs to the floor. Shock and Awe, I tell ya, Shock and Awe! I had no other choice but to throw myself down on the floor beside her and laugh. That is, after I grabbed the phone to call my mom and profess my apologies for being so ridiculous in the midst of my past hysteria. So, Jillian was the first of the three to inherit the gene. Please keep in mind that this insatiable desire to wail and scream in a state of excited anger in order to receive what one wants had to be genetically predispositioned. The reason: As a mother, I became aware that children imitate what they see and I was determined that none of my children would ever witness another child throw a tantrum, therefore avoiding the inevitable mimic. The result: Jillian, at the tender age of 19 months, had never (to my knowledge) witnessed another child act out emotions in this way, and yet, still busted out a full-fledged tantrum. Conclusion: The overwhelming desire to express her emotions in this unacceptable fashion is definitely in her genes.

For further evidence concluding this hypothesis, I submit the following video. Jillian's younger sister Karigan at the age of 12 months shortly after Mommy told her "No, you can not have any more Cheerios before dinner." Thereby, supporting and reinforcing, the cliche - the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

She only stopped because she saw Mommy with the camcorder.

Lets Play

You.Can.Only.Type.One.Word.For.Each.Answer

1. Where is your cell phone? near 2.Your significant other? destiny 3. Your hair? curly 4. Your mother? Queen 5. Your father? complex 6. Your favorite thing? children 7. Your dream last night? spiders 8. Your favorite drink? caffeinated 9. Your dream/goal? prosperity 10. The room you're in? nook 11. Your best friend? kindred 12. Your fear? unknown 13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? nurse-practitioner 14. Where were you tonight? baseball 15. What you're not? judgemental 16. What you are? real 17. One of your wish list items? maid 18. Where you grew up? Oklahoma 19. The last thing you did? diaper 20. What are you wearing? pajamas 21. Your TV? fingerprinted 22. Your pets? fish 23. Your computer? new 24. Your life? scheduled 25. Your mood? satisfied 26. Missing someone? always 27. Your car? shrinking 28. Something you're not wearing? socks 29. Something you're always wearing? smile 30. Your summer? busy 31. Like someone? most 32. Your favorite color? Crayola 33. When is the last time you laughed? now 34. Last time you cried? before 35. Favorite Sound? laughter Wanna play? Do it!

Holy Tornado, Batman

Well, not exactly, but the sirens did go off for several hours last night. More storms are expected through the weekend.

Contemplative Wednesday

"Not to worry" is Jillian-ese. She says it when I'm about to caution or advise her. For instance, if she just spilled her milk on the floor. "Not to worry - I will clean it up." Or if I remind her as she is running toward the street. "Not to worry - I will look both ways." I wish I could be so worry free. I try to convey a carefree, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants outlook on life, but I must admit I am a chronic, closet worrier. I am actively working on overcoming my worrisome ways, unfortunately, I think worrying is in my genes. And lo and behold! I woke up this morning feeling distraught, indecisive, and whatever other feeling of apprehension that came my way. The reason: about a week ago we learned Mark may be in the market for a new job. So, needless to say, worrisome Jenn has set in, and right now my biggest challenge is reminding myself to leave things in the Lord's hands and not to worry. So that is the sentence I've been running through my head any time I start to worry about things I can't do anything about. Easy enough, right? As the quote above says, we have to be willing to give those things up (our plans, our worries, our lofty schemes) in order to live the life that God has planned for us. Because, it's for sure much, much, much better than anything we have planned for ourselves...

Take Me Out to the Ballgame

Brendan's last baseball game is Thursday night, and then the playoffs begin on Saturday. Stay tuned for an update after the Championship game on July 7th.

Everything I Ate

So I was searching for new ideas as I was making my dinner menu for next month and came across the coolest idea. Tucker Shaw took photos of everything he ate for an entire year - and published it into a book titled "Everything I Ate: A Year In The Life Of My Mouth". Can you imagine if I did this? Oh my gravy. It would have to be published in editions. Think of the possibilities: "10 Minute Meals" (because sometimes I can't squeeze out the extra 20 minutes, Rachel Ray) "Before Bed Pork-Down Edition" (with a forward written by Mark because he is always the one who starts the 10 pm snacking) "Things My Children Convinced Me to Make" (topping the list: peanut butter and cheese) "Gooey Chocolate Chip Cookies Edition" (they deserve a book all to themselves) "Mark's Masterpieces Edition" (food so pretty you don't want to eat it - he is a chef afterall) and then of course, the "Fruits + Vegetables + Healthy Foods Edition" (published as a pamphlet and given as a free gift with purchase)...

Pictures for Benj's Room

The greens almost match. The leaves look like they are airbrushed on with a stencil, which wouldn't be hard - just time consuming. The purple border wouldn't be necessary -- it is used to break up the space on another wall and then carried over to the adjacent walls. Let me know what you think.

Is the grass really greener on the other side of that jagged line?

This is a shout out to our neighbor and friend, Marshall. I was cutting the grass today, along with everyone else on our street, and he thought it would be soooo funny to harass my inability to mow in a straight line. His side yard is adjacent to the rear of our backyard and is normally the last strip of grass in the main part of the yard to mow. Needless to say, after an hour of mowing, I am lucky to be able to walk in a straight line let alone mow in one. So, for you Marshall, though our lawn is not Wrigley Field worthy, it is very green, lush, and has few weeds (wish it didn't have any, but what's a girl to do.) Furthermore, when I start getting paid the big bucks to make grass look like the picture above, then trust that I will give it my best shot. Until then, crooked lines will happen.

Summer Zoo Trip #1

Check back for more info later

Wanderlust

I just have to take a moment to profess my love for the new Gavin Rossdale (the front man of Bush) album Wanderlust. Oh mercy, mercy me, it is absolutely wonderful. I haven't been in love with an album for a while - it's such a nice feeling and at such an appropriate time in my life. The first concert I ever went to was a Bush concert with the Goo Goo Dolls and No Doubt. So I thought I would give his solo album a try. The title Wanderlust also intrigued me. It is a term used to describe some strong desire to walk, either literally or metaphysically, but can also be characterized by a homesickness. The emotion can be understood at a deeper level of the human condition as a search for a new way of thinking or perspective on life. It is a full circle journey, ending at the starting point, but gaining ground (knowledge, growth, etc.) along the way. In short, wanderlust is a trip, or a need to understand one's very existence, that starts with the first step of a long journey. And boy, turning 30 or rather leaving my 20s, kind of put things into perspective. Anyway, if you haven't picked it up, I suggest you do so right away! Or, at least check it out on iTunes. PS: It's on sale for $10 bucks at Target this week.

Oh to be 13 again...

I don't know how this got started, but a few days ago I was telling the kids about a silly little game I used to play in school called, MASH. You know, Mansion, Apartment, Shack, or House. My BFF and I spent hours predicting our futures using this oh-so-hilarious (if not scientific!) game. I couldn't remember exactly how to play, it has been a few years after all. So I googled it and check this out...You can play it online these days! Oh yeah, baby! Check it out here. Man, that takes me back...

Bedtime Story

Brendan volunteered to read Jillian a bedtime story last night. Flawless results, don't ya think? It was fun this morning when they woke up listening to their stories of...he stole the blankets, she kicked me, etc. I do have to say, that is a tiny bed for those two wild sleepers to share.

Photo Scavenger Hunt

Today the kids and I went on a photo scavenger hunt. I quickly made a list of things to find. With Brendan armed with the camera, Jillian atop of her scooter, and Karigan snuggled in her stroller, we began our search. I was amazed at how attentive and focused The Bigs (my nickname for the combination of Brendan and Jillian) were as they scouted for each item. Only the normal rules of our walks applied, i.e. no crossing the street without Mommy, stay on the sidewalk, etc. The list was open to intrepretation, but the items could not be in our yard - for example: Brendan tried repeatedly to photograph a bird, but by the time the camera would focus, the bird had flown away. Shortly after his fourth or fifth attempt, an airplane flew over. And he photographed that "bird." The items we found were an angel, a bird house, Mommy's favorite flower, a bug with six legs, a bird, the American flag, a white butterfly, running water, a child playing, a fountain, a maple tree, a pine cone, a yellow flower, a "bird", the word STOP, and a friend's house. The only item we did not find was the shell of a Robin's egg.

Oh, the joys of Photoshop

Coming to newsstands July 2008

Like Father, Like Daughter

I have often said Mark has Coke (uh-cola, that is) pouring through his veins. Looks like Karigan is starting her habit a little early. Not to worry, she is just playing with the cans, not drinking from them. At least, I don't think she has tasted soda yet - Has she Mark?

Baby carrier - carrier

Jennifer, this is the baby carrier strap I was telling you about on Sunday. Seriously, who thinks of this stuff? Is it really possible to have sooo much to do that you need to be hands free while walking from the store to your car without the worry or restraint of a car seat in your hands? My favorite part is the product description...

"Easy to carry and lightweight"

Is that the strap by itself? It must be because, alone the carriers are not lighter than air, and then to add a 10-22 pound baby. Ridiculous!

Heel-arious

So, I was looking online to find Karigan a pair of cute summer tennis shoes and look what I found. I would like to imagine my saucy princess as the proud owner of a pair of these Heelarious "high-heeled" crib shoes. But, oh my, these are - well - hilarious! I would seriously crack up if I spotted a little diva baby kicking it in her car seat wearing a pair of these.